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And liked seek somebody that missing spark

So how do you maintain the romance when the romantic comedy becomes, well, real life? The lazy girl in me shudders at the following statement, but the truth is that keeping the spark alive in a LTR takes work. Long distances, contradicting schedules, or growing resentment are all common reasons couples lose their spark — otherwise known as chemistry or a particularly strong connection.


Married Or Attached And Missing That Spark

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Some chalk it up to evolved differences, a slow growing apart, or sheer familiarity. With researchers estimating that percent of married individuals in the United States will have an affair at some point in their relationship, it may be time to really examine what causes our affections to wane.

Dorelia
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I felt instantly relaxed and happy. I feel like people always expect some crazy romantic story from us, but really we met on Tinder. I know. We fell into a relationship pretty quickly and got engaged two years after that. I started to think, Hmm…maybe? I felt at ease with him, but there was not even a blip of romantic interest. I felt excited but was super nervous about the idea of us turning into something serious; I had never had a thought like that so quickly after meeting someone.

Over the course of the next two years, we both moved to the West Coast, became closer colleagues, collaborated on a lot of work projects and developed a really solid friendship. He never made me wait or wonder, though, for the record.

When I first met my husband during Trinidad Carnival in in a mas costume, there was instant rapport. Not like all those exes I mentioned. Everything changed when we got drunk one night and made out at a bar. To get a flavor of the many shades on that spectrum, I asked women in thriving relationships what they felt when they met and started to get to know their current partners.

But finally I got the nerve up and just asked him out. We took our time, carefully considering each step as we moved forward. I thought he hated me or was at least totally annoyed by me.

But we had a lot in common with two attached communities from our two jobs. We were missing in grad school at the time; I had been hired to that tables at a restaurant and had just gotten a tutoring position at the campus writing center. I felt so attracted to not married her outer beauty but her amazing personality — and it happened almost instantly. He works at the writing center, too! We ended up talking for over four hours, and he just seemed different than the typical L.

At the time I was sort of seeing this other guy who was very hot and spark with his attention. I also remember entertaining a thought about how it seemed like we were such a good fit! We are and getting ready to move in together. Ironically, his big personality is what keeps our relationship so fun and exciting.

I felt a connection right away; I immediately felt comfortable in her presence. We met at the library, where he was working at the time. In the interim, he had dated other women and I had moved to New York.

Would you choose sparks over a stable relationship?

I was actually turned off by his braggadocious behavior when we met in a bar in Baltimore, and I was skeptical of his big personality. As soon as I walked across the bridge from Waterloo station, I spotted her gorgeous, long blonde hair and my heart started to flutter. I came to recognize his character, emotional intelligence and kindness even later.

Anyway, I thought he was cute, but not like drooling-ly so. I am so excited to marry her. He was also married at the time, albeit on the rocks unbeknownst to me. Two weeks later, we were officially girlfriend and girlfriend.

10 ways to maintain the spark in a relationship

He walked me to my car after dinner and gave me another hug. Crazy, I know…but here we are, happily married 20 years later. We chatted online for the better part of a month, as we were both out of town when we connected, and I just remember feeling like, Wow, we have a lot in common and I really hoped we actually meet up.

We arranged to meet up outside a Panera before I had a night out with some friends.

I met my husband and his friend, my eventual roommates, the same night. When we moved in together, we always had really great conversations, though. After his marriage completely ended, we started dating, moved to New York together and got married. I also noticed he had the well-timed wit that all my womanizing exes had shared.

When I was introduced to him, he just kind of looked at me and barely said anything, while I was being my extra-bubbly self because it was my first day of work. But ironically, Allie had no idea. Our first official date was the following week. We only spent about 15 or 20 minutes together that night, but we hugged before parting ways and when he wrapped his arms around me, I felt like I was in a familiar embrace.

But he was also a big partier at the time, and my general impression was that he kinda needed to grow up. I felt irrational anger toward him for showing up to town and innocently, unwittingly enabling one of my close guy friends to get back with a toxic ex — just before he was set to fly back to the West Coast and completely avoid the aftermath. Something clicked for me in that moment, and I knew I was completely over him and moving on to something better.

We quickly dove into easy, meaningful conversation about anything and everything, like Detroit, sexuality, politics, our friends and family, traveling and so on. The rest is spark. After my date, at missing midnight, my phone rang. Five years later, he did married that! We instantly had not one but two jobs together. I thought it might be my now-husband calling to say he had a good time, but it was actually the other guy!

But we attached up talking the night away with awesome intellectual debates about psychology and mental health. During a work trip, our colleague introduced us. I had no idea when we first met what an amazing that he was for me. I remember the first picture I ever saw of her perfectly, though. We originally met online inbut I friend-zoned him for the next eight years! It was effortless. I thought she was so cool and intriguing, and I wanted to learn everything about her. It sounds cheesy, but I was immediately drawn to her screen name, which had something about Michigan in the handle.

We went to an annual art festival in our city and spent hours walking around and chatting. But finally, when I moved back to California, something clicked. I remember he was nice, and, funny. We both quickly knew that we wanted to marry one another.

Quick and easy tips to lasting happiness in your relationship.

He was not remotely my type. I walked through the lobby and into the bar, sort of looking around for a guy sitting alone, and then in the back room I saw a dark-haired man on a bench looking up at me with sort of a sly look on his face. That was the beginning. Fast forward a little bit further and our great work partnership evolved into very clear, strong romantic feelings.

I asked to check out some sheet music to some Broadway musical. But I do remember that he made me laugh in spite of myself and that a seed of something was planted that night. He was wearing this blue button-up, sitting behind his computer at his desk. We first met online. I knew in that moment that I was already falling in love with him.

12 women on whether they felt a “spark” when they met their partners

His confidence extends past himself to belief in both me and our relationship. So we chatted a lot and hung out in groups, sometimes going for drinks. I definitely fell fast. I was like, WOW, he is way better looking than I expected!